Is this what you want?

The question of my century.

I sat in my Case Management professor’s office today discussing my progress in the course and my plans after graduation

 With her bright eyes and beautiful country girl smile she asked me again.

Is this what Cassie wants?

I spoke to one of my professors and told him I was having trouble with his class and was worried about my next exam. He told him me, if felt I couldn’t concentrate because my mom died, maybe I should just with draw from the whole semester.

I am two months into mourning the death of my mother.

I am having nightmares once a week and I cant sleep.

I have three weeks left of classes in university.

I haven’t been able to study

I have just been offered an internship position coordinating services for children and their families who are at risk for being homeless.

I am about to get my first apartment with the love of my life in whatever state the US Navy decides to send him.

Trying to keep calm in the middle of my crisis

I am working towards becoming a Pediatric Occupational Therapist for At Risk Youth and in Early Intervention.

Yes, this is exactly what I want

I am one of those people that when someone is trying to get in the way of my success, I set myself to an even higher standard.

Other people will often attempt to bring negative energy your way when you’re chasing your dream.

That’s when you chase that dream even harder.

I was one of those kids some people thought would never make it to college and be successful.

According to my odds

I should not be here.

I should not succeed.

But I will

And I will laugh

And then I’ll reach out and help the kids that society rejected, because they are underprivileged or in a rough situation

Help bring them to the light and have the freedom of happiness I almost didn’t a chance to experience.

And that will mean the world to me

My life will matter

Is this what I want.