I know in my mind that this is only a season.

That the tepid bog of pain that sloshes around my ankles will soon pass.

I know in my mind that it's wiser to wait out this hurricane

Than to strike out from this island in hopes of safer shores.

 

I know in my soul that this is where I need to be.

That my life's race track always was meant to lead here for a time.

I know in my core that this is the house I need to rebuild.

That this is what the strength of my arms should fight for.

 

Yet.

 

Yet, for all the determination of mind and the conviction of soul,

My heart still pulses with broken longing.

It throbs like a bruise, inflamed with the injury of separation;

It defies all else for the sake of you.

 

Yet, my mind is flooded with your memory.

Yet, my hands long for the security of yours.

Yet, my feet always wait for the starting gun of my return to you.

Yet, my eyes perpetually dance between the beach and ocean.

Yet, my ears deceive me with mirages of your laughter.

 

Yes, I find my body quite flooded with you.

I never knew grief until he led me away from you.

I didn't realize how much I needed you until you were gone.

Rather, I didn't know until I forfeited my right to have you.