Yes, I Know

Thu, 09/07/2017 - 17:52 -- YCal

I know I'm not the best at expressing my emotions

I know I can come off as a drama queen

I know, I'm not like other girls

I know I could be a little more sympathetic

I know I try hard not to try too hard

I know I'm ambivalent

I know I don't seem like I'm ready for a relationship

I know I'm a bit of a tomboy

I know I don't wear make-up

I know I'm not dangerously attractive

I know I'm hard to read and way too mysterious

I know that one day you'll give up on figuring me out

I know that despite knowing quite a bit about me you'll always feel like there's more to discover

I know I'm good at hiding things

I know I seem happy single

I know you think you know me, but the truth is

I don't know how to express my emotions without feeling vulnerable because

I hate being in that kind of situation

I don't know how to dial down the theatrics and not act like a drama queen

I don't know how to be girly, put on make-up, walk in heels without tripping,

Or be sexy,

Or whatever, and

I don't know how to sympathize with people with no common sense who make stupid decisions because people who do things that they know are wrong receive little to no sympathy from me

I don't know how to not try hard without trying hard not to try too hard because being aware of the fact that I shouldn't try too hard makes me feel the need to try hard to try too hard to not try too hard

I can't just stop being an ambivalent person,

I'm the most indecisive and speculative human being in the world

I know I seem happy single because I'm so independent

I've been this way for long a long time

I don't seem like I'm ready for a relationship

I've never actually been in a real relationship

I need to be taught everything there is to know which scares me because

I doubt there's anyone who would want to waste their time doing that, and

I come off as hard to read, and way too mysterious, even after

I tell someone practically my entire life story

I always leave small pieces out so

I won't feel too much exposure

I'm good at hiding things

I know exactly how much or how little to say to get away with not saying enough

I know that one day you'll give up on figuring me out

Because no one,

Not even you,

Waits around for a girl who leaves them wondering

I know that despite knowing quite a bit about who

I am

You'll always feel like there's more to discover,

But won’t you still love me?

 

 

This poem is about: 
Me
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