Woman

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God's first mistake wasn't the talking snake, but making man before women. To be completely honest here, we all truly know that women are superior beings in many ways (not in all ways, but just many) when compared to the common man. I'm not saying i would rather be a woman than a man and do the ole' snip and tuck and if someone asked me if I wanted to push a watermelon out of my ass or better yet out of my penis, i wouldn't come out and say "oh geez, i believe you've read my mind." I just don't appreciate how much of an advantage women have over men. I’ll be quite frank here, it makes me jealous. For instance when was the last time (and I’m referring to the present men here) someone called you pretty? The individual being of either sex. I for one wouldn't mind if someone complimented me on a daily basis, because they either had to or just because it was something that was really thought. I may sound feminine and out of place by confessing that and that’s exactly why I’m complaining. When women get naked it's sexy, they most likely will get their names up on the whore lists men keep in their heads (for emergencies only), but it's still widely and even wildly acceptable. When men do it it's vile and vulgar and you get your name up on Meghan's law. If they're fat they're strong and if they're skinny they're courageous for either losing or keeping their weight. Men have erectile dysfunction and penis size issues, while .. well, when was the last time you went to your friend Samantha and bragged about how thick and long your vagina was compared to hers. Even in the gay community women have the advantage, not only are women sexier homosexuals than men, by a mile stone, but they also come more equipped in comparison to the poor homosexual men who have to solely rely on lube. They can cut their hair short, leave it long, wear men's clothes, but the only thing that is frowned upon for them not to do is for them not to shave or be unhygienic and that my friend must be the cruelest punishment that has ever occurred to anyone. While men are portrayed as beasts with massive amounts of hair.. everywhere, we are allowed to be hygienic, but are considered to be doing wrong if on a passion of lunacy decide to rip off some of that massive amount of bodily hair. Let's face it not only are women statistically smarter than us bumbling men, but they also have multiplied more substantially in population than us strong men. Yes, I guess we do have that factor of being more physically inclined than our counterpart, though not even our superiority in muscle can save us from dying sooner than the weaker female being. The only thing that scares me more than our intimidating counterpart is someone discovering a way of producing sperm without the need of a man, for then the knees of all men would simultaneously buckle and fall to the tyranny of women worldwide; like obedient little puppies with less of a bark than their pinch of a bite. Standing like a 4th grader next to a slick politician, the women would even seize from us the right of saying to the unthought-of offspring of tomorrow that we had helped in creating them. Leaving us only to grovel and plead "please, oh please let it be a boy." and your wife with a grin on her face would already know that it is in fact a beautiful little girl that would emerge. It's not okay to cry over this, we're men for god sakes, we can't bitch at someone and blame it on our periods. We live only because we have been aggressive and cruel, we roam the earth now as we have for centuries and will continue on ruling until the distant future. Whence women will need us no more and strip us even of our manhood, but even then we will die knowing that not even they can spell woman without man.

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