this is so easy now
I just let go
and I'm gone.
who needs the drugs
the techno wail of a crazy party
when I can live
in this quiet corner of my mind?
and ignore it all
who cares about the thin,thin threads
that hold my life togethor?
people tell me to start living my own life
but I can't.
I am those thin threads
and if I break
it all goes.
mother calls me good luck charm
and I feel my soul slowly dying.
the cards were dealt the way they are
and I've been bluffing all my life.
best poker face is not one at all
I am torn and tossed within my head
outside blank... gone.
this is not giving up
this is acceptance
this is trying to ignore the small voice
that screams Fight! Fight! Fight!
this is not drowning in sorrow
this is relaxing into it
letting the waves toss you
sun burn you
it was inevitable.
And I hate this feeling more than anything.
I am in the middle of the storm
waiting for the other side
I am only half way
this mental numb
will wear off soon
and all I can do is wait.