I just don’t feel comfortable these days ,worlds are moving, shifting earthquakes trembling tables turning, NO! flipping sliding I don’t know I feel like every little movement of my hand must be perfectly placed that great feelings of emotions may never surface but to my pillow and but to my wall, when I feel so trembled by pressures my heart stabbed by emotional pressures I fight against it effortlessly as I would fight a bull for its tooth. Every class feels like the other, every teacher as boring as the other, I’m half arsed to do work only because I’m half asked what I’m doing in every subject. My mind a drift searching for an image that might just send me away a little gem, my eyes starting to… WELL…. slide away shut close finish up. But the day ain’t over till the bell ain’t rung. Games make for steady classes a drag but less of a hassle than working for one correct answer that in my book is never correct. My phone is my time machines of emotion, its what sends me in and out states controlled puppet like, brilliantly  woven and molded into others expectations always trying to fit into others ideals. Maybe I just want to be that role model but can’t hold. Maybe there’s something else, because putting in effort feels like wasting time and wasting time seems like a lack effort, am I chasing certificates or chasing successes, am I holding on to my goals that are merely some odd thought in the brain that goes no further than down my drain through my brain and out, washed away by the last big idea I had. I feel restricted bubbled and lost hungry at times. Yet food seems to be the only good thing. The only good thing that’s never good barely great but the only constant routine I can cling to without using a tinkle of effort.