Why I Write : The Unspoken Words

Location

23607
United States
36° 58' 20.0604" N, 76° 25' 17.7564" W

Unspoken words are very powerful words
Words that go without say
But hold strong meanings in the array of thoughts
These are my Unspoken Words
To you I may look like I got it all
But dont be confuse with my countenance
The face that you see is broken and hurt
Hurt by the trials and tribulations I had to face
I didnt know where or who to go to
So I never let anyone know I was hurting
I left them alone
Alone to dwindle and wither away
These are my unspoken words
I needed somewhere to go
Somewhere to get these voices and emotions out my mind
But where
These Unspoken words were causing self deterioration
I had to stop before it was too late
But what could I do
I saw myself crumbling right before everyone eyes
Then it hit me
My book of dreams and faith is all I need
So I gather my thoughts and began to write
Writing to my own rules
Expressing myself in ways that only I could understand
Revealing things I kept hidden for oh soo long
These are my unspoken words
A dream never gives up on a person
Its the person that gives up on the dream
If I let my dreams die they will wither away
They will be no more than unspoken words
My dream is what keeps me alive
Holding on for dear life
Poetry allowed me to figure out my dreams
So many writers inspired me along the way
Poetry inspired me to never give up
Poetry is the backbone to my dreams
That's why I will neber give up
A dream never gives up on the person
Its the person that gives up on the dream
My words that were once unspoken is my dream

Comments

Jalishau

Please give feedback!

NikkiM

First, thank you for a gift of what feels like a very honest poem. My favorite lines in this poem are:

A dream never gives up on a person
Its the person that gives up on the dream (this is a fabulous turn of phrase and personifies the concept of "dream" -- that's great.)

--and-- 

Poetry is the backbone to my dreams (This is a wonderful metaphor, very concrete and evocative. It would be great if you could do more of this in your poetry, perhaps even in a revision of this poem.)

This poem has elements of a form called "ars poetica," a poem about poetry. I like that aspect of this poem because it reflects not only the speaker's feelings, but puts the speaker (the "I" in the poem) at a distance from the poem, almost rising above the poem or peeling back the curtain to show the reader the poet with a pen in his/her hand. It's a cool technique. 

In poetry, as in life, spelling counts, so go through this poem and see where you've got some spelling and grammatical errors. Of course, spelling and grammar can be loose in a poem, but that has to be intentional, and it didn't feel intentional here. 

Also, you want to watch for phrases in a poem that you've heard a lot before -- these are called cliches, and they can weaken a poem's intent. The more original your language, the better. 

Good work with this one and keep on writing! 

Nikki 

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