I lie in silence, listening, searching,
for the beat of my heart and find it,
pumping and beating, pushing the blood through my body.
Allowing me to thrive and feel,
moving on till the clock reaches zero.
I search and cannot find his soul for his heart beats no more,
his body still and cold for no blood to pump through his thirsty veins,
no heart to pump it for his chest lies hallow.
I want to see his smile,
but flooding my mind is his sleeping shell.
I want to hug him,
but his body stiff and cold rejects me.
First I avoided you,
afraid to accept what i've already been told.
Afraid to be alone,
afraid to be lost.
I searched for you,
hoping, always hoping that you'ld walk through the door,
but each visit to where you now sleep brought me closer to realizing
you are lost.
Cold and alone forever,
for however long forever may be.