Who's Fault?

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After a game of playful looks and bashful talks

On a night of a friends birthday

He blurted out for me to be his

I, too quickly, accepted

To only find out that we were determined to block out another

from our sore hearts and our one tracked mind,

We were rebounds

 

That pushed aside,

Sundays were made for movies that we loved,

talks of what we will be,

and drool on his lap when he scratched in between my shoulders,

Falling asleep to the rhythm of his heart,

The warmth his chest gave to my cheek made me think there was no other right way to sleep again,

But trust wasn't the same when unconscious mistakes were made.

He became someone i didnt know,

Jealous, bitter, concerned, and insecure

 

That pushed aside,

Sundays were made for watching movies that one of us didnt like,

talks of hated family members,

and light snoring of names that neither of us will forget,

Falling asleep on his lap made my neck cramp,

But i stayed quiet while he scratched me behind the ear

because i shouldve been glad he canceled his plans with his boys to watch "The Fox and The Hound" with me

He made me hate myself to the point i thought no one else can love someone as cruel as me as much as he did

"You have no idead how insane you made me"

"I still have nightmares of you at that party"

"Do you even feel bad about it?"

"You're a slut"

"You never stop to think about how I'll feel!"

Is it really considered cheating if you dont even know the guy's last name?

How was i suppose to fight back if i couldnt walk along the snake like side walk

after drinking myself into a pathetis mess that just wanted to forget how imperfect you made me feel.

It came to a point that i was no longer happy,

and he was fooling himself that he was,

He took his anger on the things i gave him,

I took mine into muffled screaming after finding out he found closure in a girl from school who knew how to make any buy happy.

 

That pushed aside,

Sundays were now made for flicking channels,

Silent thoughts,

and falling asleep in the middle of a call because i forgot how to sleep alone.

 

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