Where do I belong?

Where do I belong?

This is how you are considered beautiful. Have a big bottom. Have big breasts. Have the perfect nose. Have beautiful eyes. Have the perfect skin color. What's the perfect skin color and the perfect body? Don't interrupt. Why are you skinny? You are too skinny. You look Anorexic. But I do eat. You are too short. I'm still growing. Don't talk back. Don't look anyone in the eyes. Sit up straight. Don't be too talkative. Don't be quiet, that's rude. Dont wear clothes that show skin. Do you want to look like a whore? This is how you should dress. Wear clothes that cover up everything. Don't have any guy friends, you're a girl. Do you know what they want to do with you? But I've known them for such a long time. Don't you talk back. This is how a woman should act. This is how a christian should act. You can't be depressed, or you belong to satin. This is how not to go to hell. This is how all people should be treated. This is how you follow the laws. This is how we treat people of your race. This is how you should treat people of our race. Everyone has free rights in this country. Wait, who are you, and why are you that color? Im hispanic. Why are you even here? Pardon me, I was raised here. This is not where non-citizens belong. You are an immigrant. You are dangerous. You steal our jobs. My skin color isn't a crime. Pay attention. Your race is lazy. You can't go to college. Pero.. Don't speak Spanish, only English. You don't belong here. But… Pay attention child. Get your shit together. Make sure you know how to pledge allegiance. This is how to fit in. Although, you never will. After all, you are too Mexican for this country.

This is how women from here should act. You are a woman who belongs in the kitchen. Make sure you know how to cook. Make sure you know how to clean. Make sure you know how to do laundry. This is how you set the table. This is how you should wash these dishes. This is where you put the dishes to dry. Women shouldn't go to school, they have chores to do at home. But what about my dream? It's Yes Sir and Yes Ma´am for you. ugh … YES MA´AM YES SIR. This is how you treat your future husband. This is how to please your husband. This is how you treat your father. This is how you plant at the fields. This is how you ride a donkey. This is how you fetch the eggs from the chickens. This is how you go down to the river to gather water for your family. I thought I belonged in the kitchen. Don't be an idiot. Don't have any guy friends or you'll be considered a slut. You can't speak English here. This is how to pledge our flag, you probably don't even know how to do that. Gringa. But this is my home country. I was born here. You don't belong here. Why are you even here? Go back from where you came from. But this… Don't be disrespectful, no one will want a disrespectful child. That's probably why your father left. Not even HE wanted you. You don't belong here, we are not your home. Afterall, You are too American for this country.

Mija, being Mexican-American is hard. We gotta prove to Mexicans how Mexican we are. And prove to the Americans how American we are. We have to be more Mexican than the Mexicans and more American than the Americans, All at the same time. 

But momma. If they claim I'm ¨too Mexican¨  for the U.S. and ¨too American for Mexico. Then where do I belong?

 

 

This poem is about: 
Our world

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741