When Life Commences to be Dark

Location

07740
United States
40° 17' 40.9308" N, 73° 59' 19.968" W

Cold. Dead. Alone.
Eyes sunken
Nails brittle
Heart slow

Life held no meaning
Death held no sorrow
Light held no hope
Darkness held no luster

To have my eyes torn open
Propped up so that I could see
Life was more than it led on
Unfair and cruel it sometimes was

He knew it too
We’re not as different as it seems
He saw it plain as day
Awful wrong and little right

But he looked up and saw the light
There was a path to follow
And much to do
But he didn't care about the time

He had to correct the corrupt
Lend a hand to those beneath
Speak loudly and clearly
Without giving up along the way

I see what he saw
I needed to pick myself up
The battle was not won
The war was hardly over

Inhale, Exhale
Head up high
One bite, two bites
Don’t back down

Life goes on
But only if you let it
Fix the broken
Destroy the urchin

He was unsure just like me
But proved to all he was keen
On the idea of black and white
Making grey night by night

He spoke to the masses
And taught the people
Of a world someplace nice
Where everyone was equal

Mississippi would watch out
For the man with his head screwed on straight
Who called them out on their mistakes
Naming them a disgrace

I had to do as he did
To not accept the way it is
To change, to save
My life and others

I spoke aloud and told someone
There’s a situation unresolved
I’m dying inside and out
Day by day I live this way

I cannot open my mouth to food
Or accept the necessities of life
My temperature has reached 30
My blood pressure there as well

He has been there saying
Let not the others control you
Do not let yourself lose hope
There is something left to fight for

Need not the ignorant
Need not the judges
Need only the supporters
Who hear your voice

He may be denied voting
Or be treated with disrespect
But he will not stop speaking
To better those who stand side by side

I will agree to what he said
To stay strong and at best
To fight for me and he and her
For she and him and them

I will speak and I will try
But I am not convincing people
I am convincing myself that there is a chance
A last hope I have left untouched

That even when I get pushed down
And my brain has yet to heal
I continue to keep breathing
To move on safely, not to keel

He will not heed to advice
To stay silent and unknown
He will protest the loudest
And scream ‘til it burns

He will continue to go to school
Continue to try to vote
Continue to rally the angry
Continue to serve the slighted

He will oppose the Jim Crow
And the segregation all have faced
Striving for equality
And the rights of every race

I know that my life should not be separated
If I want it to be fixed
I must give equal reign
To the logic and the sane

Maybe that will bring my body back together
So that I am one, not two
Living not with my mortal enemy
Only improving from my battles

I have to fight against dear Ed
The abuser I have known for so long
The one who denies my food
My freedom and my rights

He has shown me all along
How to combat Ed
How to live again
How to see the light

Medgar Evers says to keep on going
To enter the fortress of my anorexia
And have the strength to carry on
No matter how tough the going gets

He has helped me to realize
That everyone has a battle to fight
That everyone can choose their path
And that I, for one, choose to live.

Cold. Dead. Alone.
Eyes sunken
Nails brittle
Heart slow

Life held no meaning
Death held no sorrow
Light held no hope
Darkness held no luster

Are all things of the past
Not things of my future
Something to remind me
Not to go back

I am not the others
I am myself and no one else
I will defend who I am
For I hope to one day be

Warm. Alive. Content.
Eyes vibrant
Heart pumping
Smile growing

To see life holding happiness
Death holding loss
Light holding possibilities
Darkness holding the chance at a tomorrow

For I am who I am
And I will fight until the very end
Just like that of Medgar Evers
Who gives us the chance to live again.

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