When I was younger

When I was younger I only saw myself in future tense-
bigger, better, beautifuller.
When I was younger I saw myself as adventures, as friendships, as an extraordinaire in the distance. 
I saw myself as something far away but breathtaking.
When I was younger I saw myself as an eclipsing star,
I understood the significance of disappearing to make a comeback. 
When I was younger I never saw myself, I thought I was preparing to make a comeback. 
I thought my future was pure brilliance so I tucked the present under every willow tree and the occasional siberian elm and I made a pact to come back for it in a couple of years. 
When I was younger I made pinky promises with the dirt-
a futile attempt to entwine my fingers with tree roots. 
when I was younger I thought I understood space. 
I thought that that was all it would take. 
I asked you to give me space, I asked everyone else too,
I tried to jump through time
leave my life behind
When I was younger I tried to grow up by means of isolation
but space doesn't feel right when its awfully empty
the willows all weeped and the elms got chopped up
and my fingernails all broke once they passed the only layer of mud. 
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