When I Was A Little Girl I was Born Fucked

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 15:22 -- grlaqm

When I was a little girl
I used to ask my daddy
Am I pretty?
I knew what his answer would be
Like any other father who'd answer their daughters
"Of course you are sweetie"
But as I grew older
I realized that puberty has left me with a funhouse of crazy mirrors
A question mark that I was made to answer for myself through my own reflection
With a soul filled with tension and depression
Never though had I once realized that I couldn't change myself with makeup or hide behind sweatshirts Forever
Because under all that shit
I knew I was powerless
Like Lex Luther vs. Superman or Spiderman vs. Green Goblin
I was unable to modify any of my attributes
So I reviled them
When I was a little girl
I used to reiterate myself to the man upstairs
"Hey God, Don't know if you can hear me up there but, do you hate me?"
Cause look at her
And look at me
She's beautiful and I'm not even equivalent
I couldn't contemplate myself looking appealing or just decent
I'd constantly interrogate my conscience with hundreds of questions a minute
And the answer that I'd get would be the moment I'd lift my head up from all my wishing
Of some gorgeous woman on Sex And The City
Even now some days, I still beat myself up sometimes for not looking as pretty as Meagan Good
Or Tyra's coca-cola body shape
But unfortunately I was cursed with this life
And I have to deal everyday with the scars of hatred that are permanently etched into my heart
So I'm sharing my story
Because..
When I was a little girl I was born fucked

Comments

Patreesh

OMG OMG OMG! This is beautiful! Absolutely amazing! I love it!

grlaqm

thank you so much!

diana_goodwin

i honestly say sorry for being a by stander and laughing when people make mean comments about you

MVP-Most Valuable Poet

thank you for sharing

you are an inspiration 

let no one ridicule you in anyway

keep writing 

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741