When I was..

Fri, 08/03/2018 - 15:11 -- MKG4328

When I was 7, I wanted to be a singer.

The kids all laughed and said, "you're too ugly to be a singer."
Mom and dad said, "that's great kiddo, but shouldn't you be something more realistic?"
So I changed my mind.
 
When I was 9, I wanted to be a Veterinarian.

But mom and dad got a divorce and we had to live with grandma, no one knew how long that was going to be.
So I had to switch schools, and my mom went back to school and money became tight.
So I changed my mind.
 
When I was 16, I wanted to be a medical assistant.

I started having a hard time in school, between bullies, boys and all of the extra curricular class loads, I started to get depressed and was at the peak of my self harm behavior. One night I decided to go out with a boy I was talking to for a little while, he was very persistence and almost had raped me, so my depression and suicidal thoughts got worse, I needed to get help
But no one wanted to help.
So I changed my mind, decided I wasn't going to be worth anything.
 
But I seen the power of music, the power of healing, the power of perseverance and kind words. The power of the struggle and the power of not giving up and never giving in.
 
Now, I am 20 years old,

I am in school to become a practical nurse. I am the youngest and at the top of my class so far.
I have a loving boyfriend and grew my support system to beyond belief.
I love my job and my residents support and care for me, even in their final days and even when we disagree, one will continue to support me in heaven, because she may not remember my name, but she will always remember my face because she is my chickadee, that I never got to say goodbye to one last time.
I no longer have depressed thoughts nor do I have suicidal tendencies, even when the road gets tough,
I am going on 4 years clean from self harm this year. I also haven't had a drink in a year as well.
 
Without all of the mistakes, thoughts and changed I have had throughout the years, I wouldn't be where I am now,
So thank you.
Thank you to all those who gave up on me, but also fought for me
Thank you to all those who gave me opportunities, but also shut me out
Thank you for those who have hurt me, but for those who have appreciate and love me
Thank you for the scars I have on my body, those that are physical and emotional
Thank you to the ones who left me, the ones who met me, and the ones who had to go from this world, because it was time that god called them home.
Without all of these things, I wouldn't be who or where I am today.
So thank you again, my temporary home, for shaping me into the women I am, the woman I will be, and the woman to come.

This poem is about: 
Me

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