Mentally I Prepare the Boxes
Its time for my reality to come to an end
Fantasies of a future I could make a reality are ending
Burning with the thoughts of success
Only to Give Birth to the Reoccurring ideas of failure
Sitting in the middle of this floor
I look at an empty dorm
Mentally it has disappeared and vanished without a trace
No memories left for me to remember
Simply an idea of what could've been
Better yet,
A dream that has deferred more than rottened meat
As I rise to continue packing
More and more boxes seem to disappear from what used to be my dorm room
Papers of grades earned and worked for
Now mere figments of my imagination
Near the window was the picture of the desk
My laptop sat with high grace and power
Flashbacks of my fingers flowing across the keys as I typed a paper that would be graded by a professor I had no intentions on naming
Bins on clothes under my bed hid
Filled with clothes that made me fashionably late to class no longer make me late
They are no longer existent
Those bins were a mere idea of what imaginary thought I was picturing
Physically I have a seat in an office of sadness
Waiting for the response to the end of a lifetime before it starts
A woman with no conscience or heart tells me that my future rests in her hands
No longer will I be acceptable to my thoughts of success
My finger tips sign away my life to loans and debt
Here I still sit in an office that has managed to break me to my lowest point
Yet managed to provide me with the little hope I had and destroy every ounce of it at the same time
Socially I find myself hidden in my mental desparity
Awaiting the sadness to occurr
Take over my entire body one organ, one spirit, one hair follicle, one cell at a time.
Conversations don't seem as embracing as they were when I lived in my fantasies
Aware of my current lifestyle
Living in my imagination has helped me live up to the idea that everything up until now was a dream
And until I can take a nap to relive the idea of dreaming
Mentally I am still watching boxes, bins, desks, and happiness disappear
Things you remember when it was all a dream.