"Think before you speak." my dad tells me. 7 year old me doesn't really know what I did wrong. I was only being honest. Aren't I supposed to be honest and tell the truth? Was it my tone? Was it how I said it? I was telling the truth so how am I wrong?

I'm 15 when my best friend laughs and says, "You know you're kind of blunt?" I don't actually know what it means but it usually has a negative connotation. I frown and shrug it off. I look up the definition and learn that my words are straightforward and direct and ironically enough sharp as a knife, which cut deep into people's feelings. I didn't realize protecting people's feelings meant ignoring my own. Does this thought make me selfish? I always thought being honest meant being good at communicating so why am I just learning there is a fine line between blunt and brutal honesty? Apparantly I am not straightforward or blunt but just rude.

At 17 I am bothered by my lack of filter- unnerved even. Why is it important my word gets across? Where do we learn decorum and filter? Mom says it's one of those things you've either "got or don't got." How unfair. I realize I use this as self defense. I use it when I feel like I'm being put into a corner. My words sharp as a knife; I hack away at those who make me feel trapped. How is it fair for them to attack me but if I don't hold my tongue then I'm being rude. Perhaps I'm just being childish. Maybe I should just take their words in stride and accept their cuts and burns. Honestly I would feel worse causing someone else grief.