First of all, it’s being told since 4 that there is something wrong with you. It’s being constantly misunderstood and mistreated. It’s getting pulled out of class daily, meeting countless professionals to explain the unexplainable. It’s spending recesses in the councilor’s and summers in a camp for “problem children”. Getting burnout before your first birthday and depression at 7. It’s holding back tics, stims, and reactions in fear of unwanted attention. It’s panic attacks, high suicide rates, and being labeled as ‘ill’. It’s holding in a scream after being tapped on the shoulder and it’s holding in a meltdown after you’ve read the same sentence 10 times in a row and still can’t comprehend it. It’s finally meeting someone like you only to watch people give up on them, to see them give up on themselves. It’s subconsciously mimicking and constantly studying others to learn to be the ideal image of human, someone who you will never be. It’s listening to ableist jokes and comments, drowning in stereotypes, misconceptions and excuses in hope one day, maybe, you’ll speak up. It’s learning unspoken laws that don’t come naturally to you, where everyone knows something you don’t. It’s fearing, knowing, one day you’ll get fired because of a misconception of your disability. It’s knowing you could never live in a society meant for someone else’s brain.