What I Want
Location
What do you want, they ask, smiling like they already know
and for a second I consider saying
I want an old VW bus, some friends and a summer playlist.
I want to leave this small town in the dust and just drive till we run outta light; we're young after all and we've got the whole world ahead of us.
I wanna turn off at sunset and find a drive up motel. Pack people into a tiny room and tell stories that make each other laugh and then when the clock ticks over to a new day I want to whisper secrets into the dark, like moths taking flight.
I wanna wake up the next morning and sit outside in the sunrise drinking bad coffee with good people.
I want to make memories I'll treasure when I'm older.
I want to live free and careless. I want to learn about myself first before I learn about how the light from the street lamp glitters off the rain drops in your lashes and how your laugh rings through the night air.
I wanna grow up and not regret a damn thing.
But
I say none of those things. I'll grit my teeth and swallow them back down, like shards of glass cutting at my throat and lie.