I’m sad asf 

I’m angry 

I’m hurt , 

Why we didn’t work al 

All I wanted was you , 

I never hurt you in the way you think ,

How did we get here 

I thought you save me 

Why loving you hurt 

Why can’t I be with you 

Why we can’t work

Why you always think I’m fucking on you when I’m with you 

Why you hate me al 

Am I really a bad Person 

Did I really hurt you 

Did I really lie 

I mean I told you I sucked your uncle dick .when I didn’t but you won’t believe me if I paid you to ,

It’s fucked up I told you my story and you used that against

How is that fair al 

You believe in god just like I do how can a good heart like yours turn so cold 

What did I do so wrong

It’s like I was talking to a wall

Like where we at 

Every time I go to you it hurt more n more when we apart 

Do you know that feeling

Do you really understand that

I came and heard you put Some understanding towhere you was coming from 

But you say you was not talking about me, 

When we both know you was ,

How can I be your girl and you look at me in suck a low down way ,

How you think I sleep next to you 

Do you really think it’s easy

I just try to make it work as hard as I can 

It’s like the more I push the more you pull 

That shit I heard you crying out for someone to love you and I was trying to let that be me 

But you won’t I wonder y 

But now I will never know 

Because I don’t think I can ever go back to you

Even doe my body cry for you

My mind beg for you

I think about you all the times 

I cry about you 

I dream about you all the time 

I see a life with you

I see us doing great things

I see you happy

I see us having a child getting married 

It hurt that I only see it in my dream 

It hurt that I cant share my random thoughts with you 

It hurt that I can’t show the Funny shit that be on Facebook 

Or all the niqqas that be in my dm 

You see how I’m playing them 

Craving them 

Egging them 

But here we are again not together 

Tell the truth I was happy to see you remember our date 

Because I did too 

Tell the truth I wanted to post about it on Facebook that’s y I wanted you to take my pictures 

But here we again 

Hoes , sleeping with old hoes 

Not together 

Apart sad and hoping things will get better 

Well at lest For me  because all I want is you aljaquan 

Why must we always fight , 

I really wanna know did somebody cheat on you 

Did somebody hurt you 

I mean I know your family but aljaquan a female 

Because some reason you love me but you won’t let me get to close 

And I know you feel it cus I feel it when I’m with before we fight and things get crazy 

Did one of your females fucked someone that was close to you 

I’m asking because I’m trying to understand why you hurting me 

I just wanna be there 

I feel bad that you going through all you going through by your self 

I don’t wanna be your girl even doe I still wanna be apart of your life 

I wanna be that friend that’s there no matter what

Who a phone call away 

Who a lister ear 

Who you can vent 

Who you can trust 

Who you can be honest with you

Who not gonna tell you no lie 

Tell you like it is 

I’m that person aljaquan if you let me

I’m crying writing this cus you really hurt me aljaquan 

I really was happy to see you I came in the house n went live 

Then trun everybody down and went with you 

Now we here again apart 

I’m hurting all over again 

I’m crying 

I’m not eating 

I’m sad 

I’m lost 

I’m trying to understand why we keep going through this 

I can’t even have sex if I wanted too 

Because I fucked up about you aljaquan 

How did we get here again 

How do this hurt more then the last 100 times 

Why you keep coming back to me wanted to take me out if this was the out come 

All you had to do was tell me to come and I would have 

Aljaquan I understand if you wanna be free and have me 

I was trying to tell you I understand you

I willing to go slow if you would allow me 

I’m not here to hurt you 

I see you hurting and I now see I can’t just fix you I have to take my time 

I promise you I don’t matter how far we are I’m always gonna pray for you 

I’m always gonna dream about you

I’m always gonna think about you

You are the reason y I can’t get serious with nobody aljaquan 

I know you wouldn’t believe me if I told you it was just and conversation 

But that’s really what it is 

And no it’s none of your family don’t believe go through all my texts messages 

I warn you I’m nasty in my messages like really nasty you might get trun or be mad because you aljaquan 

I’m writing all this because I can never tell you 

You would never give me the chance to really love you 

I wanna be the one you cry to 

The one you tell everything and not when you mad or when your friends or mother come around 

I’m mean just like I open up and tell you about my daughters and my mother I really don’t tell everybody 

But truth be told aljaquan I found somebody I can talk to 

So I tell him to but not near as much I tell you 

I don’t know I be trying to find you but I can’t 

All I want is aljaquan 

All my mind is aljaquan 

All my soul wants is aljaquan 

All my body want is aljaquan 

I miss you holding me 

You kissing me

Even though I really couldn’t feel your dick all the time but when I did it was worth waking up too

I never judge it because you was my niqqa n I loved you for you 

Even doe you didn’t eat my pussy you still please me idk but it was something about the way you payed with my pussy when I sucked your dick 

And when you did fucked me you made it worth I don’t know how but you did 

It hurt that we didn’t work 

I could have got used to getting up fucking you then getting in the shower so I can go to work 

See aljaquan I think and dream about shit like 

I wish you can see my crazy dances I do 

I wish you can see my dumb faces 

I wish you can see my drunk nights when I come after begin with my friends or family 

I wish we can be looking for apartments 

I wish you can be showing me how to drive 

I wish I can get my first real car with you

But like I said here we are again apart not together 

You would think it would get easier because it keep happing

But nope it just hurt more and more 

And make me hate myself more and more 

But hurt the most is I can’t even cry to him about what this doing to me 

Idk I thought if I would be a listen ear for once without something to say then maybe we really could work this out 

I even tried not answering not saying nothing just sitting back 

But all that did was give you aljaquan time to come up with another to get your point across after I got it 

You talking about you grown but are you really 

You talking about I need to grow nah bro you need to look at yourself close 

God send us everyday signs about our self 

God know my heart he know I love you 

Today I wanted to call you but I knew what that was going to do 

Do you know how much that hurt like 

I can see if I was really doing wrong 

Like if you would have came in the room and I was trynna rush off to the shower or something 

But because you came and I wake up seen you coming was happy told you to come here I miss my bae wish was trying I wasn’t just talking about that moment I was talking about all the others times I didn’t have you like now 

Today I took the 1 bus and road pass your house was hopping to see your car but I didn’t my heart cry out but I couldn’t cry 

I was ashamed that I  hurt aljaquan, but the was the worst part you really hurt me when you didn’t show at the hospital and you gave them all my shit that broke me 

But here we again I’m writing my pain out because I’m mean who can I really tell this you don’t think people tried of hearing me talk about you aljaquan one minute I’m leaving with aljaquan he coming to get to I’m in the hospital or I’m on the bus or somebody tryed to rape me cause you put me out or somebody tried to pick me up in there cus I was walking up and down streets 

Do you have any idea what that was like aljaquan 

I over came hella shit you put me through that you don’t even know you put me through 

I wanted to tell you but I couldn’t because if I did you would have thought I was making it up or I was playing with your mind 

See you got a way of doing that everything I say you say I’m begin funny or I’m playing with your mind whole time I’m just telling the truth 

How you asked for honesty but can’t take it 

How you asked for loyalty but damage it 

How can you damage me more after all I been through 

I can you truned into someone I have to let go 

You was suppose to have save me aljaquan I told you I appreciate you I showed you , even if you to blind to see that 

I pray one day you really would see I wasn’t Leing you and I was 💯 whole time 

I pray god show you that I really love you 

I pray god show you my heart 

I pray god show you my soul 

I pray god show you my tears 

I pray one day we can be together in the right time for the right reasons I hope by then you really to let me love I can’t give up on my love for you 

I’m not ready to let you go aljaquan I really not that’s y I’m still writing 

I feel like I’m talking to you and it’s amazing my body doing this little shake my body feel a lil cold but the good kind of cold

I’m smiling from ear to ear my heart smiling 

All you keep leaving me with is my writing and my dreams because god got me the rest of the way 

I don’t wanna say goodbye 

I wanna say a new hello 

Fresh start friends , if you used to have sex then we would agree to that but nothing more we both no you not really for a girlfriend 

Idk I’m just in my thoughts about you and this what really made me text you that day asking you es cus I know you know , but then we met up I got what I needed and it was cool

It’s like I couldn’t even say thank you 

And I thought that’s what people do that wish each other the best 

I mean you want me in some kind of way because you came up with a new way for me to go with you 

Can’t lie I don’t it sweet like omg he miss me too maybe really can be friends 

In my head I’m like I know he only talk to me and I only tell him all my true thoughts and dreams I share everything with him 

Aljaquan you don’t even know I wanted to tell you about my little sex boyfriends if that what you wanna call because all I cared about was the sex and money fuck it I was not about to pass about niqqas wanna buy my weed my clothes anything I want , 

Aljaquan I didn’t do it to hurt you I just can’t get close to no other man 

Do you know how many man after you told me they loved me and I cut them off because I knew I can never loved them

See I’m a real cancer I don’t go by that sign shit but my heart fit it not who iam as a person but how I loved and how I fight for my love 

See I would die for you I over again and won’t think twice because that’s how much you mean to me 

You broke me when you told me you feel like I really don’t care about you , I’m looking at you funny because y you think I keep coming back when you call , I take that as a call out for me , I be feeling like once I see you I need to be there for 

So now I know this I can’t see you because I’m gonna wanna be there 

I can’t move on because I want you 

And I can’t see you because we just gonna  end apart 

Aljaquan this is very toxic because I know you want me I mean you told me when you was in me that’s really when told me your feelings I only here them when you in me and y I call them your real feeling because after sex you act on them feeling then you stop taking drugs we just be smoking watching movies sleeping under each other soon as you pop them pills it’s over you push me away you became somebody else and I don’t know why 

I just wish I can know what you be thinking 

What going through your mind 

Because I never thought somebody I wanted forever would see me in such way you see me 

This really hurt aljaquan I pray you get it right

I pray you don’t move on without me 

I pray you don’t stop loving me 

I pray you get right for me because that’s the only time I’m on 

I’m get this job open a real bank account save my money and move 

I wanna new start I really pray aljaquan you take that new start you was talking I was praying I would be with you but it don’t look like it’s my time to be in your life 

I know I’m heat for a reason I don’t know , I  just know I love you move everyday 

I want you more and more 

I want your little body under me I wanna be there every step of the way I wanna be there for happy moments the sad one I wanna be there through it all

Aljaquan I know it’s hard I been going through the mud all my life but I’m not nothing you see I’m not a drug dealer I’m not a dancer I’m just a young women looking for the right job 

See aljaquan when you met me I lost a job then I finally got a job left got too more came back and looking for better 

You giving up on me when I’m about to break the chart 

I’m next up I don’t know what god has plan but I know it’s big because he didn’t bring me this far 

Aljaquan god done show me good people after you bad people don’t matter who came across my heart always choose you 

I’m always choose you 

You don’t have to fight for me 

You don’t have to seen you don’t have to be heard I want you 

Nobody can’t take that but you aljaquan I’m trying to fight for you but you not making it easy for me

This shit hard this hurt everybody looking at me like I’m having a good time but whole time I’m hurting about you aljaquan 

Can you really ever give me a chance at begin your friend 

I rather be your friend then again 

Having your back it’s what’s most important to me 

We gonna fight but not about me fucking your family if i cheat I’m fucked niqqas you don’t know and before I fucked them I show them you and asked if they know you 

I’m really not like that reason I don’t talk about it when you bring it up because you don’t believe you would say you do then you come up with something else I did 

Only I wanna know is where I fucked all these niqqas at 

Cus only time I can fucked my hoes is when I’m not in your house and trust my dick big long all so trust me when I say I don’t wanna fuck nobody in your family I got some niqqas that slut me umm Kay eat my ass and all suck my toes lick my whole body shit one of them ate my soul up the other one took my soul , and I’m not saying for you to get or to call some time of how I look at it like this if I’m not with you aljaquan 24/7 then I’m not about to be with nobody and this real I mean soul mind all that . 

I know you prolly think oh she giving out her pussy cute but this funny I get my pussy ate out more then I even get dick for the last 38 days before you I was only getting one long hard dick shit make me do flips 

Aljaquan it really hurt I’m not going to sleep to you or waking up to you but I should have known when you had stop coming to the hospital before this time 

You want me to chase you and I’m not doing that 

If a niqqa wanna be kept he gonna be kept , I’m already chasing you with my love for you now you think I’m pop up at your house nah I’m not doing that , god know if it was you Fuck what we mad about I’m going with you to that 🏥 

But see that’s the different in between you n me 

I wanna be there long as you let me be there I can’t be there for you don’t want me there I can’t help if you don’t tell me I just want know

I’m tryed of guessing what aljaquan feeling what he gonna say how he coming now is we good did I do something wrong did I look the wrong the way did I move on that part did I laugh to much am I moving to much am I to quiet am I to far from him should I move closed , 

Like aljaquan do you really know what that feel like I love you but love not suppose to be like I been I never been in real love if I’m honest I fell in love with my baby father because he was helping me raise my daughter that wasn’t his n then I gave him a daughter I thought we was gonna be forever then I found you and it was beautiful, I was writing some fly shit I want that flow back  I’m not with you 

Aljaquan is we ever gonna be together for real and not to make no matter or you didn’t think I peep that yeaa just too show people you still got me I didn’t go no where well thinking like that you gonna lose me cus I really want you but you playing with like a doll that you really missing something good I really pray we can be something in life if not off to my dreams