What Do You See?

Fri, 08/23/2013 - 23:25 -- HollyB

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I have green eyes

And brown hair

And a half hearted smile that I wear every day

I could be her

That beautiful girl in the magazine

The slender model on the tv

The woman I aspire to be

But I'm not

At the end of the day I have too many freckles

And porcelain skin

And a half hearted smile that I wear every day

Now I can dye my hair

Paint my skin

Get colored contacts

And eat less

But I'll still have that crooked smile

And every day I look in to that mirror

And no matter how I change my outwards appearance

I will still see that half hearted smile.

And my hair color will grow out

And my painted skin will fade

And my contacts will get old

But I will still see that girl staring back at me

I will still hold in my heart and in my mind

Those memories and troubled times

And you can run from the present but you can’t escape your past

And you have to pay a heavy price for what you lack

To get where your going unless you intend on falling back

Into the old ways and younger days

Where you were young and stupid

And you drank all that drink

And you smoked all that loud and

The pounding in your head was near the only damn sound

That could put you to sleep

And you wake up to a realization you don’t know what you've done

Or where you been

But for the night you didn’t have to care

And not until you get off your ass and fix your make up

And look in the mirror at that girl with the

Half hearted smile

She makes you throw up all your dreams and your ambitions

Because this is what you’ve became

And this is what youre running from.

That girl with the green eyes

And the mousy brown hair

And the porcelain skin with too many freckles

She looks back at you and sends you that crooked smile

And you know you've buried her And you've buried your good name

Its never too late to take away

The tears and bottles from yesterday

Because that day's gone and today is here

And you’ve still got that porcelain skin

And tears fall from those bright green eyes

And you learn to embrace that mousy brown hair

Because this time, for the first time

You smile in the mirror and it's real

Not half hearted, crooked, or faked by any means

Because you're done with spending money on your “good time things”

The substances you used to drink down the past and wash away those memories

She smiles at you

And you smile back

And its just like opening a present on Christmas day

You’ve discovered your soul

And you're filled with dismay

At all the wonderful doors that open your way

Once you stop running

And start walking forward

One foot in front of the other

Slow breaths

She is absolutely radiating confidence and beauty

Because she now laughs without fear of the future

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