I was once asked...
"What do you believe in?"
Now I know what the question meant,
Do you believe in God?
Do you believe in anything?
Do you believe in nothing?
Now, I've never been a religious person, no.
I went to church on Sundays, under the watchful eye of my grandmother.
The one who woke up bright eyed and early to get us kids out of bed into those good church clothes.
The one, who although loved us dearly, would not give a second thought about giving us a well deserved smack a top the head, even in church.
I grew up around church, around God, around belief.
But I also grew up around Sundays at home, around mentioning nothing, and around disbelief.
But as I looked at that person, already taking way too much time to answer such a simple question, I realized I couldn't answer that question.
I believe if there was nothing, then everything people have done would be for naught, and I can't believe that no matter how hard I try, in the end it won't matter.
It won't matter that I spread love instead of hate.
That I gave more than I took.
But if I believed in something. then I would have to take a gamble on what I exactly believe in, take a shot in the dark, knowing that if I choose wrong then it was still all for naught because I didnt go to the right church.
That I didn't say the right words.
Didn't read the right things.
Or I didn't pray to the right one...
If I believed in something, and be surrounded by those who believed different...
Who would be right?
Who would get to go to that promised land?
Who would get to go to be with the rest of the damned?
Would I want to go to that land, if none of my friends, if none of my family, was with me, walking with me, talking with me...
But I believe in the person who walks by and smiles at strangers just because they might be having a bad day, for they know what it means to have a day when no one showed them a shred of kindness.
I believe in the look of love between 2 people.
I believe in my boyfiend when he drags me from my nightmares and leads me to blissful dreams, never complaining about being woken, about losing sleep.
So looking back at that person, I realized I believed in something far more real than nothing or anything.
For I believed in the goodness of people.