Do you think about it daily? Do you think about it a lot? That one thing you can’t live without? Well let me tell you, for me its gorilla snot. Yep you heard me right. Gorilla S-N-O-T with the extra “ought”.
So what is this disgusting substance, with such a vile name. Honey let me tell you, its just a curly girl thang. I’ll lay it out for you, so you can catch my drift.
Having natural hair is a bitch. Yes it is. I get knots and tangles and frizz and I call on Christ Jesus more than my grandmama on her death bed. I knew growing my hair out would be a challenge but I always figured the struggle would come to an end. But low and behold an year and a half later and I fight more with my hair than my parents at Thanksgiving dinner.
One day I was in CVS, scoping out the hair scene when I noticed a new product and the bottle looked kinda freaky. On the outside was a scary looking gorilla who actually resembled a chimpanzee and the shape of the container itself looked kinda nasty….
So I pick the bottle up and give it a once over. Suddenly this loud ass drag queen comes over and was like “GIIIIRRRLLLL lemme tell you, that gorilla snot is something unnatural. It will have your hair looking fine, like Chris Hemsworth in the wintertime”.
And I was just like err..okay? I don't know what that means but I’ll try this mess anyway.
I was desperate man I tell you. That shea moisture wasn't cuttin it and I'm quite sure my hair shouldn't look like a statue. And them poor looking twist outs just wouldn't do.
I hoped in the shower and said a quick prayer. I was like “Dear Lord, please help my desperate hair”.
I ran the water through them curls and mashed in that sticky crap that was stuck on my hands.
I climbed out, dried off and nearly fainted in front of the bathroom mirror. I was a changed person! I didn't even look like myself. My curls were beautiful, long, spiral and in pairs.
None of that clumped up, shabby looking hair. I could be on the cover of Vogue - a Paris Affair.
I was just like, “I’d be damned, that eco styler gel aint got nun on this gorrilla goo”.
So if y’all aint got with me by now, you must not know what it do. If you’re going natural just let me tell you, nothing else WILL do. Just remember you gotta get that gorilla “snot” not the gorilla glue.