What am I suppose to believe?

When there's photoshop, creating gods' of "perfection" and the girls around me are wearing makeup that brings "the best of their qualities" out. Mean while I don't know how photoshop works, nor do I know how to put on makeup. As if I would want to wear makeup anyways.

When the only models I see have waists that are thinner than my thigh and the clothes and shoes I like are made for short small people. Finding myself was harder because I'm different.

I'm not "popluar". I know people but no one's forced me into a mold, they know I'm different.

Different isn't bad.

I use to feel bad for being different and sometimes I still feel bad.

I don't have abs, or a gap between my thighs, or small hands and feet, your dress fits me as a shirt.

And sometimes I give a damn.

And sometimes I don't give a damn.

In middle school I didn't know how to do my hair, I didn't  like to do my hair. I got called names.

In high school I know how to do my hair, but I rather not spend time destroying it.

At the begining of the year I got compliments on everything I wore. After volleyball season is over, I got, "oh, you dressed very casual today".

I wear a T-shirt, pants and shoes everyday. Also a sports bra, so most the time I look somewhat flat chested.

I'm comfortable in my skin by myself, but around others I feel utterly...different.

I tell myself to shake that feeling off but it's hard.

I don't care that people are seeing me, I care that people may be staring at me. I don't like attention, I could care less if they judge me. I just don't want their eyes on me.

So do I make the cut? (what?)

Am I a beautiful American Hispanic, or am I nothing?

I wouldn't know and I really don't care.

I want to live being happy and being me, nothing needs to be changed. I just have to be the best me I can be.

For me.


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