Weight of Confidence

She was an 8-year-old girl naive and didn’t understand what it meant to be “fat”

She didn’t care it never bothered her

The subtle hints that slip her family’s tongues

“That won’t fit” “that doesn’t suit your shape” “You can’t wear that” “maybe you’ve had enough”

As she grew older it began to stick in her mind

Everything she chose and everything she did

She revolved it around her weight

Her clothes, how much she ate, anything that would expose her size

She would avoid

Though her peers tell her she’s not “that big” or she’s “fine”

She knew she was still “big”

Older and older she gets, and she realizes

Maybe she should try harder to change

At the ripe age of 17 her world took a bit of a turn

Diets, eating less, forcing herself to workout

Putting stress on herself because she wanted to please the world

All she wanted was to be accepted and be a “normal” sized girl

Down and down the numbers go

And the more confident she became

She began to realize maybe just maybe she could wear that dress, the skirt, that cute crop top

When she finally felt like she was getting better

It hit her again

She wasn’t losing enough then she gained more  

She sank lower and lower to the point she didn’t care any more

She broke down, didn’t want to do anything anymore

She dropped everything the diets, forcing herself to change

As she put her weight aside and cared more about herself and how she was now

It became easier, she slowly felt the burden lift off her shoulders

She wore cuter clothes, smiled a little brighter

She stopped telling herself it wouldn’t suit her that it would look better on someone “skinner”

Then naturally her weight lifted as well

5, 10, 20, 35 pounds finally left her for good

She was happy the weight was going but that’s not what filled the hole she had

She knew it was great to lose the weight, but she gained something  

Something she lost all those years ago

She gained confidence

This poem is about: 
Me

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