Who said lovin’ me would be easy?

Who said touchin’ me would be even easier?

Who put them ideas in your head

That anything about me was - is easy?

Maybe you thought cuz’ I ain’t got a man

To teach me the things that only a man knows

About a boy,

That it would be a breeze getting to me

And it’s true;

I grew up without a father

But, my mommy learned to play the role of my daddy.

She learned to play the role of both parents -

Even though her kids were only given one.

See, my mother taught me  about the things

My daddy was supposed to teach me

But didn’t,

Cuz’ he wasn’t around.

My mama was the one to stick around.

See my mother was thone to teach me about my worth.

Said I’m worth more than I know.

Said it took a while for her worth t show.

My mama was the one to teach me what it means

To be independent.

But even those so strong willed sometimes let their guard down.

And I’ve let mine down a few times.

I’ve  let a few boys touch me.

I’ve let them hold me.

I’ve let them love me

But

The problem with that is

That liars lie through their teeth.

They’ll make it seem as if they want you - these boys.

But, they only want one thing from you.

And I ain’t ready to give up that thing that they so desperately want from me.

I ain’t ready to make a baby.

And I damn sure don’t want no baby

From some ‘one time thing’.

Don’t want no baby from no tears and regret.

I ain’t ready to tell my own daughter

That these boys chasin’ after her

Only want to be in between her.

I ain’t ready to have a child

When I’m just a child myself.

I’m just “Mama’s baby girl”

But, I ain’t  just sticks

Like how I used to be.

The women in my family gave me that skin

With my full hips…

See, I’ve got curves

And I know I make them boys stare.

I’ve seen the way they look at me -

With hunger in their eyes.

They want a taste of what I got.

They want to devour my sweets

But, my goodies ain’t free

And, I ain’t easy.

You could ask all the boys I let hold me,

All the boys I let touch me,

If they’ve ever got a taste of me...

If they’ve ever got a chance to bite into my forbidden fruit.

But, I’ll tell you what they’ll all say:

No.

See that one right there was a tough one - is a tough one.

It’s hard to crack her code.

They’ll tell you how hard it was to get me

But how easy it is to lose me.

And, see, I want a boy

Who means what he says.

I want a boy to tell me what he means.

I want - when I hear the words “I love you”

Come out of his mouth or even

When they’re formed on his lips -

I want him to say those words and mean it.

Cuz’ when I love,

My love cuts deep.

And I always say the words i mean.

When I say

“I love you”,

Know that I do.

I want that unbreakable bond with someone.

I want those happy days,

And the  laughter from

Remembering or making memories -

The ones that will last us a lifetime.

I want my first time to be something worth remembering.

And if I gain a baby,

I want a child made up from smiles

And two beating hearts filled up by love.

I want my daughter to know not everyone is a bad person.

I want to give my little girl

The thick skin that the women in my family gave me -

With hips

Full,

And curves like no other.

I will teach her like my mother taught me-

Your worth lies far beyond

Just your body.

 

--TLJ