Waiting

I always wondered why you’d waste a dish on chips when napkins would do

Always seemed like a waste to me

But I understand now that the dish can be used time and time again

While a napkin is but one time use

In a world full of napkins I must dish out the strength to be of continuous use

i need not ever get used to temporary satisfaction 

 

I watched you

You loved so deep

But I couldn’t see what it is you saw in me

How dare you tell me there’s something in me that I can’t see

 

I tried to find your flaws,

I did

I watched you for years waiting to find an imperfection, 

A glitch, 

something perhaps that you couldn’t seem to stitch

 

All I found was a heart that beat for a thousand souls

A heart carrying those souls everywhere it goes

 

I wish you could have waited for me…

I wanted to see your soul leave that poor mortal body

To see your first feather grow

I envisioned your soul leaving a gush of wind behind as God realized he’s been waiting on you forever

That heaven would be made whole with you in it

To go

Go home

 

I know I’ll never see you again without Grandpa by your side

You were always an angel but now you have the wings to fly

 

There’s just one thing left I need

Promise to tuck me in when I sleep

And continue to give me those gentle kisses on the cheek

Let me melt in memories

 

Remind me of my history

Remind me I am living in a world my ancestors wished to see

I am a depiction of their legacies

And what God has called me to be

I forget sometimes

 

When I get my heart broken by a man I love so deeply

When I get so angry I could demolish anything

When I am broken, wounded, defeated

When my backbone gives out

And I feel myself giving up again

Feed me our memories

On a dish of immortality

 

And when I have a family

Whisper in their ears your words of wisdom 

Boldly guide my children 

let your spirit carry with them everywhere they go that I cannot see

So that where I am not, there you will be

 

Every night I wait for your tender kiss

I wish I could see you,

One last time I’d love to say “Thank you”

Still after all these months I wait for you

 

As I dream,

I feel your wings carry me.

One night you brought me to my destiny,

Then brought me back and told me to wait patiently. 

 

Your former voice echoes off the walls of my mind

i will always make room for you there.

 

I know you are always there to watch me dream, 

you just don’t make a peep

I assume you don’t want to wake me out of my sleep. 

 

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