The Unusual

Looking into my eyes what do you see? A young girl with an unusual life, who have seen it all and experienced it all to the fullest, lost without a trace pacing back and forward. Wait let me retrace my steps. As a child I was misunderstood by those who fold, stole my world. As a child wishing that my chivalry would come and save me from this place of pain. Show me what fidelity really is and what it means. Been through the storms of this scandalous heart break and deprived of my happiness. Come from a family where people talked about, put down and have been let down. Growing up in a home where there was so much hardship too much to bear as a young girl.  Conviction of the pain afflicted with being sentence to the sanctum for defiance, say don’t go chasing water falls they only bring troubles.

Relish my soul, mind and heart comfort me when in feeling unsafe. Every night I prayed to god come and take me away from this broken home. Hide me from my adversary who feels like they are a king or ruler with absolute unlimited powers auto craft. Looking back when all this first started, it was you brothers who planted the first whole in my heart along with sister. Fascination can be naïve full of poison, running through my vine; racing to get to my heart, looking pallor. Now seeing my reflection in the mirror I feel ugly, dirty and not worth anything. My home had been divided by one person I put my all into. Dad where are you? Nowhere to be found unless it’s beaten time or time for me to hide again, kids and mommy running from you. Why so mad with us? Do you not love us anymore or is this how you show your love? What man does this to his family especially his wife the love of his life? Love can be blind in many ways. Being the seventh oldest with memories of sorrows and vexed.

Wishing I had wings to fly away to a place where things are possible where I am understood where hope and peace can be explored. Even where love can be experience without pain and lost. Running from it all with a confused mind, emotions all mixed up. Want to know where this place of life. Is it in my world or another? Why is there so many broken hearts? So fragile, cold wrapped tight with a needle in it. Wishing to hold what had been lost or removed from this time in space. Time is just flying like there is no tomorrow wondering when I will see what I’ve been longing for or is it too late now. Everything messed up and no willing hand to fix it all. Holding what has been done against one and not forgiving what is really wanted. Keeping the true feelings of what is going on inside can cause pain inside and out. Trying to be strong and not show what hurts the most. Wishing I had wings to fly away to a place where things are possible and the light will shine without a doubt.

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