Feelings are voluntary
If I don't want to have them, they will stay in the back of my mind
Replace the missing space with music
Blast at full volume
Drown it out 
Make sure you can't hear the clicking of the keys on your computer
Make sure the shouts from downstairs are muffled into white noise
Make sure the sobs are silent so not to attract unwanted attention
The mess of a human I am is drowning
Drowning in the noise, the shifting of others
The laughter and small talk
I am
Trying.
So hard.
To keep silent, to hide away, cover myself
And it's working
No one thinks to check in, because they can handle themself
Because they were always a good kid
Because silence means obedient
Because silence means happy.
They are right, they are right
I should be left alone
A room filled with just me is good enough
They are right, they are right
Nothing would please me more to be isolated, not another thought coming to mind
Why would I need to be cared for
They are right, they are right
Why would I need to be loved
The drowned person should stay in their watery grave
Where they belong
My work is paying off
The person I once was is drifting farther away
I'm losing my grip
And I like it.
I fucking love it.