Watching the blue of the evening turn velvet

 

Indigo lingering like my unspoken hope

 

and

 

None of the constellations were the right ones 

 

So I collected them up into new arrangements 

 

and

 

I felt on the verge of something a mystery that surrounded me like gauze something I was unlikely to unwind

 

and

 

The moon looked a crooked smile crack in the sky 

 

A half hearted attempt to hide the stars falling behind her glow

 

You know

 

They say the moon holds all the wishes that don't come true 

 

that's why she's always looked sad

 

She's holding all the hollow hopes I had for us

 

Dim lighting shining on broken trust

 

I wished for a somewhere no one could see me

 

Watched my dreams float in the emptiness

 

Easily shattered china doll dreams

 

I whispered this confession to curious minnows by the creek

 

Heavy as God and yet they still swam upstream

 

We 

 

Sat by the water

 

Tinfoil boats float

 

Carry prayers to an ocean I've never seen

 

I poked at bruises to see glimpses of the pigment I used to be

 

Tissue paper gives way to reveal caves,

 

Dirty rooms I cannot bring myself to clean,

 

and

 

blood

 

I saw organs that don't play

 

crooked windows

 

With no shutters

 

You can read me left to right

 

Goodnight moon

 

Goodnight stars

 

Goodnight Goodnight

 

This story's no good

 

Mosquito delicate

 

Gentle train wreck

 

Thin like the dial of a very small clock

 

Moth mouth soft thoughts

 

Tick tock suicide pocket watch

 

Diving in ocean eyes to find time lost to the bottom

 

The sky bleeds

 

Have you seen?

 

and

 

while children laughed on park slides

 

I turned you end for end searching for where you hide your love

 

but

 

All I found was some spearmint gum, a pencil stub and some loose change memories of her behind your ear

 

and

 

I am left with evaporated start of

 

"How did you do that thing that you did to my heart?"

 

slip of the tongue on the tip of the tongue dripping tipping the scales of love and lust and friendship and trust

 

and

 

I am one more innocently loaded gun hand graze away from falling into the blank space shaped like your heart again

 

You physical representation of pipe dreams

 

Night schemes

 

The aggressive vibrancy of nostalgia against the black and white of heart break

 

and

 

After you said we would never be we

 

You could just see

 

All my

 

Day dreams ripped at the seams

 

Cloud nine splitting spitting me out 

 

See me slipping through the cracks in atmosphere

 

Didn't I tell you the sky bleeds?