You got me unglued
see I’m trippin on my train of thought cause my
body’s gonna drop and I’m drying out of emotion
I’m asking on bended knee, how can I finally be set free?
I’m playing heads or tails with a double headed coin
knowing I won’t win, but secretly hoping I’d lose
See, I’m silently screaming
taking a hold of these fears and smoking them
to get high off what I know to be safe
But metaphors didn’t connect to my new train of thought
like I could change myself in the nighttime of Vegas
with no affections of ripped out loose leaf
Thief of my affections, fought like hell to take hold of my possessions
but I’m Jonesing for a broken heart
See, I wanted to believe that you didn’t break my lock and
creep through my back door, pulling the pillow over my eyes disguising yourself
as different nigga
But fear became my conductor, took hold of my analogies and took hold of the ones that was similar, similarities were well beyond his verbolutions of “Baby, I won’t. Baby, never again” Oh, ladies the priceless one.
But it got me delivering weak shit, cause I’m getting high off his hotness
so what am I supposed to do with these broken emotions
I’m always missing key pieces to this puzzle, so
wait, let me ask you a question, exactly what do you want me to do, fuck you? Who really gets fucked here, huh? I do.
Dreaming of ways to tell you without sounding cliché, “It ain’t you baby, it's me”
Me that’s too fuck up to see that I’m drowning from past mistakes I didn’t even make for my own sake, I can’t make you another big ass mistake
see, you mistook me for another happy ending see, I have so many so called beginning so slowly drink me full, of emptiness because I am hallow, drinking only what your giving me so why do I feel so empty?
I got slide shows of past conversations, recovery ticket stubs of racing games of “who can fuck me up the fastest?”
I’m asking my mind these questions like, “So what does love mean?” But fear is all I’m hearing, it's funny, I’m afraid of being with you but afraid of my times without you are a little more hurtful.
I move between him and I just want to cop out and be what I’ve been for the past 18 years, alone. So, I stepping off broken records, lost the path of time and watered down excuses cause I’m useless as love shit.
But really, I wanna expose my soul. I wanna peel my layers back so you can see just how deep I can get. I wanna hand you my insecurities, hoping you know what to do with them back cause baby, I’m all out of suggestions.