I didn’t ask to meet you
Did you know that and find the excitement in meeting me because the walls you could see through my eyes seemed like a challenge?
Did you intend to take every last wound I had and reopen and tangle them all over again, why ?
That night we lay and I reopen every last wound and let them bleed deliberately into your beautiful hands as they caressed my skin
In hope that you would hold me .. and you did
And you held me all night with a kiss on my forehead putting all my doubts and fears sound asleep
That night I laid open all my poems and my journals of everlasting pain on paper and you asked me to read
And I did
That night we lie and read all my secrets and all my filth that I haven’t even read to God because my guilt
But I let you read
I let you see
I let you feel me
That night you got me naked with all my clothes on
You got me naked with my whole soul gone
And it felt so right
That morning we lie, still naked, I realized you were the only one with clothes on
And as you lie there I watched you and tried to undress you with my eyes but it was hard
Hours later you awaken
We read more of my poetry
And you left
Later that day no text and no call
And no I miss yous at all
And I just lie, there, lifelessly …
I just lie there naked
It’s been a few days now
Still no sign from you
Then finally you text me and tell me
“I’m just cool and you’d still like to chill sometime.”
And my butterflies turn to poison and I realize I was just fun
Was I just cool when you read all my secrets ?
Was I just cool when you undressed me with your lips on my forehead ?
When you let my pain and every depth of me pour right into your hands when you wrapped your arms around me ?
It’s been weeks and I have not seen you
But you have seen me …
You have seen me naked …