Dear stranger,

I didn’t ask to meet you

Did you know that and find the excitement in meeting me because the walls you could see through my eyes seemed like a challenge?

Did you intend to take every last wound I had and reopen and tangle them all over again, why ?

That night we lay and I reopen every last wound and let them bleed deliberately into your beautiful hands as they caressed my skin

In hope that you would hold me .. and you did

And you held me all night with a kiss on my forehead putting all my doubts and fears sound asleep

That night I laid open all my poems and my journals of everlasting pain on paper and you asked me to read
And I did

That night we lie and read all my secrets and all my filth that I haven’t even read to God because my guilt

But I let you read
I let you see
I let you feel me

That night you got me naked with all my clothes on
You got me naked with my whole soul gone
And it felt so right

That morning we lie, still naked, I realized you were the only one with clothes on
And as you lie there I watched you and tried to undress you with my eyes but it was hard

Hours later you awaken
We read more of my poetry
And you left

Later that day no text and no call
And no I miss yous at all
And I just lie, there, lifelessly …
I just lie there naked

It’s been a few days now
Still no sign from you
Then finally you text me and tell me
“I’m just cool and you’d still like to chill sometime.”

And my butterflies turn to poison and I realize I was just fun

Was I just cool when you read all my secrets ?
Was I just cool when you undressed me with your lips on my forehead ?

When you let my pain and every depth of me pour right into your hands when you wrapped your arms around me ?

It’s been weeks and I have not seen you
But you have seen me …
You have seen me naked …


Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741