Understanding a Liar
Liars don’t mean to lie.
Most of the time, we lie because we have to, because we need to,
But all of the time, we lie because we’re liars and we have our stupid reasons.
People think they know why liars lie, why we choose to lie, but
If there’s one thing I know as a liar, it’s the fact that
No one knows how it feels, having this name over their head, being branded by their flaws.
No one will ever understand a liar.
I’m looking at the time in my car, 5:47, and I’m thinking how
You wanted me there at 5:00, and right now, in this moment,
I want to cry. Crying won't change anything, I tell myself, but I want to, because
I don’t mean to be late. I just lied a little lie. A lie, saying I had a fight with my dad, but
The reason I was late was because I couldn’t find the right thing to wear for you,
And I wanted you to hear a good reason, nothing stupid (like this), and I tell myself
No one will ever understand a liar.
I know you’re mad. In this moment I’m the worst boyfriend, and you have every right,
Because I told you “5” and I gave you a lie. I love you forever, I mean that, and I know you
Can’t see that, but I’m hoping, I’m praying, and I’m on-the-verge-of-crying that
I’ll drive up to your house, cool the engine, heart pounding endlessly and
Your door will open, and I’ll see you, and you’ll smile. You don’t have to. I won’t make you.
But if there’s one thing I wish you knew in this world, it’s that
No one will ever understand a liar.