Look at those two rulers

Who bicker like hostile dogs

They adorn themselves in pearls,

Jewels, ornaments GALORE!

(Damned Christmas trees, you know

in four years from now, Christmas

will be over, and even the dumpsters

that feast on you will forget your

existence)

 

They wave their hands in glee, greeting

The blind and deaf subjects, who clap

And they clap, as though they are kings

Who ride on donkeys in peace

They put crowns on their heads, 

Coronate themselves, for there is no priest

(Little do those foolish rulers know

that the crowns on their heads

are from BURGER KING!)

 

They fight like children

"No, I'm right!" "Nooo, I'm right!"

They hiss at each other like cats

"No, this is MY TERRITORY!"

(Ugh, you two are so alike, you

might as well divorce your wives,

go out on a few dates, and make

some love, because there's absolutely

NO WAY you two aren't meant to 

be together)

 

They compete to see who's better

Like racers who can't even run

But there is NO difference, because

They're both going to fail us miserably anyway!