My friend was considering a Facebook

So I invited her to take a look

Unknowingly she claimed her seat

And a befuddling world there was to greet:

Twenty edited photos of today's lunch

Nineteen obnoxious selfie shots

Eighteen sponsored ads and spam by the bunch

Seventeen moms boasting about their tots

Sixteen friends bashing celebrities

Fifteen statuses begging for sympathy

Fourteen kids abandoning homework duties

Thirteen adults questioning humanity

Twelve confused grannies new to the Book

Eleven memes of Grumpy Cat

Ten political rants, each without a hook

Nine bufoons demanding likes, stat!

Eight guys posing with gang signs

Seven girls donning the dreaded duck face

Six links to nonsensical Vines

Five young ladies in the boy band craze

Four spontaneous photos I've been tagged in

Three friend requests and a stalker, too

Two geeks on a permanent online binge

And one man with a logo in blue