In soliloquous fashion, I conspire thusly-

"Do I deserve such funding? Should this company trust me

to make use of freely their scholarly finance,

unconcerned I may squander such limited chance

to exceed, to excel, and acheive a degree-

a concept so strikingly foreign to me?"

"Of course not," I answer, in cynical thought,

"if you've performed poorly, then to continue you'd ought.

It makes little sense that you'd think you're worthy

of such a reward- a gratuitious earning."

"It's downbeat. It's sad," I reflect on this stanza-

my confidence, once again, overcome with submission

to negative thought, cynicism, doubt,

resulting in a serious creative drought.

Personally, I despise this deconstructive attitude-

so maybe I should strive to limit the latitude

which I currently extend to such schools of thought,

so that, finally, untrustworthy- to myself-

I would prove not.