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I never believed in God before, not really

Sure, I've found myself sometimes saying “Oh my God!”

But what teenage girl doesn't say this when presented with a major clothing sale?

And I have been known to vehemently “swear to god!” as I chase a mischievous nephew

And of course I found myself praying to a god when a gun was pointed at my face

But really, all of it was just words and habit; it was the habit of words

 

But one day, there was a girl, a tree, moonlight, and the flicker of fireflies.

Suddenly, I became a believer. From one sentence to the next, I give you a moment that transformed me.

With these words, I show you the glint of the moon on her glasses

I let you inhale the gentle fumes dew on the grass release

You don't hear human noise in this early morning hour, only the critters in the trees and her skirt rustling as she situates herself

You grit your teeth as tree bark scrapes you all along your back, neck, and head, as you recline on a large branch, reminding you that your alive

 

And as I put you in this scene, you feel my heart swell, too big, too big

I swear that wasn't a tear that ran down my face, but it seems I cannot lie to you, not while you are in this moment with me; you are me

Don't worry! the darkness keeps Our tears hidden from her. Instead, We let this joy fill us, consume us.

The sensations, are piling up! Then she turns to Us and says, “I am blessed to have you in my life.”

The dam breaks.The torrent takes Us under.

As We grip onto the tree, wanting to feel it pierce the skin, wanting to wrap ourselves in the here-and- now,

attempting to brace ourself as the feelings keep coming and coming. Our comes quick and sporadic.

The thought breaches the surface; “If a moment like this can exist, if she and I and this tree are real, there must be a god.”

 

I shiver to think; had I not put pen to paper, this moment, the feel, smell, taste and sound of it, would be lost in the recesses of my ever-changing, ever-aging, ever-forgetting mind

The white-petaled cherry blossom tree would slowly fade to non-existence

Neither I, nor her, nor my god outlast the times.

But now we will forever be up in that tree, gazing at fireflies, listening to her soft breathing, feeling our heart thump heavily in our chest, filled with love, awe, and Joy.