I still remember what my former life was like
I was the jock, can you believe it?
For fourteen years I wore the number 7
The crowds cheered for me
I thought my team was my family
I thought my family were my number one fans
I thought my coaches were like parents
Your whole life you think one way
Your whole life can shatter in minutes
You see it was sophomore year
I thought I knew exactly what I wanted out of life
I knew I'd go to college with my friends
I knew I'd play sports in college
I knew I'd have that family forever
I knew I'd want to coach one day
It's a shame what you think you know
One basketball game was all it took
I was running down the court
Then suddenly I wasn't
I was on the ground screaming in pain
My dad carried me off
Turns out I tore a ligament in my knee
All the sudden life came in flashes in my head
I knew I would never be what I thought I was
but that wasn't even the beginning of my story
throughout eight fucking months life spiraled to hell
Just six weeks after my first surgery
I break my kneecap in half
How does that just happen to a person?
I lost all my faith
It was a downward spiral
But it wasn't over yet.
Another six weeks passed
Another doctors appointment
Another day sent home crying
You see they found a bone infection in my kneecap
It won't grow back together
It might be too dangerous to keep
It might have to be amputated
I was a 15 year old girl, who might have to have her leg amputated.
I then wore a PICC line in my arm for
In that time, they thought I had developed a staff infection in my PICC line
For a week waiting on results the doctor told me to
"have a healthy fear of dying"
Is that even a thing?
By this time I had another birthday
So much for a sweet 16
Finally they had done my fourth surgery
I was broken.
I lost everything that once was my world
I was a 16 year old girl who had just been stripped of her identity
I was so deeply depressed
I ate lunch by myself in the bathroom
I came home every night and cried
I hurt myself.
But one day my teacher came to me
She asked me to be a part of the UIL Prose and Poetry
She asked me
I accepted and I found myself again
Through words I found out who I was supposed to be
I didn't find the old me
But who I truly am
I went on to compete at state
on that stage
accepting my medal
I felt whole
I looked into the audience
I saw everything
I knew that there was a point to all of this
Everything I went through was for a reason
I was meant to find poetry and theatre
The tragedy that had sent my life into a downward spiral of hell and agony
It was well worth the lesson and life it had brought to me
It was a blessing.