A friend recently confessed to me her biggest fear was that she’s not living her life to the full potential -
That life is passing by and she’s somehow missing it - and in two seconds I was reminded of my soul; brought back to earth to breathe in the moment I was living in, to really feel my skin, feel the air onto which my skin collides.
I can’t breathe because I feel like Life is lying breathless in my hands and like sand it slips through my fingers and once it falls I can never get those specs of time back.
I can’t breathe because the instances in which the sun has rose in front of me I wasn’t fully present in the moment. I wasn’t drinking tea, peacefully draped in my favorite sweater - I was shaking from too much coffee, staring at the laptop screen in front of me, cramming for another test; I was dead in the eyes with an aching back that begged for a single hour of sleep and in between moments spent staring at the screen, I took just a second to glance outside to realize the sky was a different shade.
I can’t breathe because sometimes I want the day to pass quickly, the weeks to pass easily and only when I look up do I really notice how I’ve aged. Only when I look up do I realize it’s been twenty years that I’ve been alive on this earth I hardly look at, but readily pass through.
I can’t breathe because the stars fly above me every night and I’m always coming and going and when I happen to look up it’s hard to stare for too long because the stars are magic I can’t touch. I want my heart to beat too fast, my chest still - unmoving from too much laughter - and I want to feel too much, feel the love erupt from my veins. I want so much to be ever present in the moment I’m living in, want to wrap my arms around all the seconds I did not want to be alive, want to kiss the moments that reminded me why I’m still breathing, want to hold every minute in my hands so tight time seeps through my fingers like honey.