Tickets to my Mind

This poem is extremely personal to me, I don't normally share it. 
 
Selling tickets to the mind
Forcing words that didn't belong to me
Just a way to stall
He raised me up and made me flip
Just some wooden doll 
He controlled me with his metal bars
Changed my eyes from blue to red
I had memorized his script
So I knew everything he said
Forcing me to put on a show 
He pushed me down and lowered my head
Made my glass heart dance
Bounced upon the ground
Made my cold toes prance
Withered torn around 
Slapped a smile on my face
But my mind was filled with tears
Salty water, purified disgrace 
had to dance to his rhythm 
My ties bond tight with roses 
As my arms stretched in fearful poses
Sharp stems forced red honey from my seam
Blinded by a sudden beam
So I could only see the shadows
Shadows of an unexistent audience 
My stitches had been stitched again
Held up only by the rusted needles hidden behind my brow
To masque my screams he tore my throat 
The finale was to begin
First my thoughts
Projected loud on his speaker 
I was the only one who couldn't hear
Yet still leaving a shrieking buzz in fear 
the invisible eyes could not see through  my gold fabric and wooden heels
They could not see the coal that filled filled its vacant holes
The music ceased to play
So the audience ceased their silence
A drum roll of claps filled
The dreary pit
Their whispers mirrored that of was once my tongue
Slapped  my false smile away
a wave that knocked me off my edge
His wicked breathe forced a scoff
As he shoved my corpse from its rim
I'm not alive
I'm not dead 
In a state of existence that wasn't partial to either 
Not a free soul
Just an empty puppet 
lying on an empty stage
No ties to bind me
No controls to trick me
No puppeteer to fool me
No rhythm to move me
And there were no tickets left to sell

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