When I was young, I dreamed of growing old

Becoming old

Old enough to understand what the unspoken universe held for me

My mother tucked me into bed

Kissing me goodnight,

“See you in the morning, Princesa.”

I didn’t want to go to bed, I wanted to explore this life I was living

All these adventures I could take with me into the future

What are these conspiracy theories the world is trying to give me?

I breathed in colorful dreams, dresses, and dolls

As I began to grow older,

I began to dream how it felt to be free

Not be a kid anymore,

Not be a worry to anybody.

Running away with all my fears called friends.

Being happy, nothing that could worry me.

But I woke up to the sound of reality,

I was breathing it in.

The reality the world is holding for me,

She is ready to throw it at me, clasping my hands onto it,

Being slapped by the reality that Pandora’s Box was keeping.

All those evil nights that haunt me at 3 a.m.

I sit at the edge of my bed and listen to the world spin

I listen to that song almost everywhere I go

What I mean by that song, what I mean is Time.

I stare at the ceiling,

Wondering if anything you said to me was true.

I cry at those nights that I miss you too much

My words suicide themselves on the pavement,

Watching every syllable my mouth cried out, meaning nothing.

Do they mean anything to you?

I love these lines of the poem you wrote to me,

“Did we even switch? I see you the same through your eyes,

Maybe because no matter what, I’ll always see the real you.

The reality I love about you,

Not even Beautiful can describe you,

It’s something more.

That’s why I’ll just call you Jessica.”

Do you trust that beating organ inside of you?

I’ve never been afraid of my own

Lately, it’s all I can think about.

It’s my heart that holds all my hopes and dreams.

The ones that help me

Motivate me to keep fighting,

For you.

You inspire me by the way you look at me.

It’s my heart that flutters every time those lips of yours let out a sound

That sound that calms me and causes me to melt inside.

You’re the one I dream about lately

Sometimes you’re the cloud that Aphrodite beautified,

Sometimes you’re the cloud that Zeus stabbed with lighting,

Caused the hurt,

The hurt you received and now it is the one you give

Me, the one you hurt countless times.

I still feel the same way I’ll always feel about you.

“I Love You,” I tell you,

Even if you don’t want to hear it.

My hands burn up in flames the way my heart and eyes do

Every time my cells touch your cells

I wonder if you’re deadly,.

Procrastination, it’s a wonderful thing isn’t it?

Those dark shadows that block my way into happiness.

“Oh sweetie, do you really think you can be happy while I’m around?

Following every step you take into your future.

I’ll be there.”

That monster is haunting me every night.

It is always by my side.

You’re that sleepy monster I will forever love.

Sleepy monster,

I am.

Truly yours,

I am.

Please sleepy monster,

Carry these thoughts well into your future.

“Stop believing in me.”

I’ll stop believing in you

When you stop being real.