For Them
Tears fall, hidden perfectly by the smiles of the day
No one sees the anguish
No one hears the sobbing
All they see is my mask of a smile
Does anyone wonder about the story behind my mask?
The reason why I smile and laugh?
Can they imagine the grief I feel
When I look into their eyes?
My life is perfect, some would say.
My family is intact
My education comes without effort
My friends swarm around me
I am pretty
I am smart
I am musical
I am talented
Little do they know
Rarely would they think to imagine
The cracked surfaces on my face
The crooked reflection in the mirror
I suffer through the pain
Because I know if I don’t
Others will have to
I don’t want to share what I feel
Love holds me back
Love for others and maybe not enough for myself
I must be strong
I can’t falter because they need me
Disappointment holds me back
I don’t want to find that I am less than I think I am
I don’t want anyone to see my weaknesses,
Though they glare just behind my mask
I am imperfect, but I keep that a secret
Everyone sees the happy, indestructible, obedient me
They do not hear the screams behind my bedroom door
They do not feel the tears running down my face.
I must be strong for them.
I must be happy for them.
I must be gentle and kind for them.
I must try my best for them.
I must make my mask my life for them.