Tell me how to live
When I'm living a nightmare every single night
When every single night I break in tears and sweat
But keep my cries soft because only this woman can tell you so much
Tell me how to ask for help
When all pleas have been ignored or shutdown
Locked away inside a file which will never be seen
Tell me how to grow up when i have never been given the chance to be a child
Tell me how to be a man
When this woman has been used for her womanhood. Slammed and pinned down.
Hands rubbing all of me and skin perpetrating my insides.
An unwelcomed guest making himself known a demond ripping my spirit and soul apart.
Years go by since the first time.
Years of living but only in survival mode.
Heart racing,
pulse pumping,
adrenalin spreading,
and panic striking.
Striking.
What next could strike?
And in those years of surviving,
at the peak of dehumanizing,
it happens again.
Tell me how to live when I'm already dead inside.