The Teenage Try-Hard
Location
It took me years to realize that I’m more than just a comparison,
A comparison to a magazine cover, to a GPA, to a friend or to a sibling.
I’m not you, I’m not him, I’m not her… I’m me. I’m just me.
And I, am flawless.
Am I flawless because of my hair?
Whether I straighten it or curl it, chop off new bangs or let it grow,
Whether it’s teased up or let down, or still wet because of the snow,
My hair is flawless, but I’m not flawless because of my hair.
Am I flawless because of my makeup?
Whether my lips are blood rose with black eye shadow on my lid,
Whether it’s blue eyeliner from yesterday and acne I’ve hid,
My makeup is flawless, but I’m not flawless because of my makeup.
Am I flawless because of my GPA?
The answer is no. My grades are not perfect.
My 4.5 isn’t “good enough” because I could have gotten a 4.6.
Society will look at my hair and my makeup, my grades and the dark circles under my eyes,
They will look at my grades and my ‘effort’ in their own terms, and tell me I don’t try.
They will wear me down, tell me I should give up, claim that I’m going nowhere and that my appearance sure as Hell won’t get me somewhere else
Because my eyeliner has a smudge, because I forgot to brush out one lock of hair, because I only got an 84% on my test, and I sleep too much
But that. That is what makes me flawless.
I’m not flawless because of how society sees me. I’m flawless because of how I see myself.
I’m happy with how I fashion my hair and paint on my makeup, I’m happy with my GPA.
I know that I try, and I know that I’m trying my hardest.
And what it comes down to? It comes down to how I perceive myself
Because this isn’t your life, her life, his life, their life… it’s mine.
Not you not her not him not them I’m ME. Just me.
Just because I don’t live up to what society sees as perfect, doesn’t mean that society is even right in the first place
I am doing the best that I can with what life has given me. My life.
And as long as I’m doing that, as long as I’m being the best ME that I can be,
Then I am flawless.