I feel rushed by the momentum of time

That pendulum swings so I can hold on for dear life,

lest I decide to jump off all together-

and yet I am accrued to the fact that I will likely spemnd my life 

fearing the turn of its hands.

Afraid of that minor feeling

of no longer being alone.

The independence I become used to is challenged

time and time again

my time filled

my time too full.

I struggle to find sense in its insensitive being

I am breathing but no air seems to enter. 

Take a moment to look

at the smoothness of their face

teh sharpness of their wit

and wonder why it is so challenging to see them clearly. 

Wondering, why it might matter if you take a chance,

rather take the time to get to know them clearer.

Swinging pendulum, ties my stomach into a knot

I count the minutes until that possibility turns to 

reality- and maybe it will go bad. 

The other possibility is

it could go better than ever planned.