Sweet Sixteen

PART I:

Sweet sixteen was supposed to be filled with joy and glitter

But it left us feeling guilty and bitter

Cause what she done

Did more than just kill her

God if only she hadn’t pulled the trigger

 

As a Child I didn’t like to kiss her

And never thought I would ever really miss her

though I would fight you if you ever tried to diss her

I’m talking about my not-so prim and proper baby sister

 

A life over and wasted so young

She lay on the floor cradling the smoking gun

The horrible deal was done

So many years and still I feel wrong

 

PART II:

The taste of salty tears awakens me

Only to discover the night mare starts over

In dreams your happy, you tell me it’s okay

I can’t believe it’s not my fault

 

Painful guilt stabs my consciousness

Didn’t you know I loved you with all my soul?

We suckled the same breast from birth

Your inner-turmoil was ours to share

 

Always I love you, my sibling, my inspiration

How do I get over you?

You understood me when others didn’t

I have to remind myself your actually gone

 

You console and embrace me in dreams

In life you were tortured by demons

In death your demons became our living hell

Your absence in life leaves an unfillable void.

 

Author’s Note: Our beautiful and beloved sixteen-year-old baby sister Shannon Walker, committed suicide in 1989; Our uncle Robert “Bobby” Marshall in 1997; Our two adopted brothers James Lawerence Redenbaugh 2004 and Teddy Williford in 2017. I will always feel responsible for starting what appears to be a pattern of self-destructive behavior in my family.

 

If you have a loved one who expresses any signs or threats of suicide, please take them seriously a nd seek professional help immediately. A threat or attempt to commit suicide is a very serious sympton that should never be taken lightly. Once their gone it’s much to late for regrets.

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family
Our world

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