Now- I reach the summit

and sigh,

watching as the heaving breath becomes fog-

then melts away.

And I smile, clutching aching sides.

It's hurts more than I care to admit

this year of days passed by. 

A constant conscious state of worry, 

Guilt. 

But now- as I glimpse things more clearly 

I learn about people,

Humanity.

 

365 days 

8766 hours 

An excruciating amount of minutes 

 

Within this time frame 

has been a cycle of repetition-

The same problem

A supposed solution 

Ticking around the clock 

Of 526,000 minutes 

 

This ticking time taunts

like tiny pricks beginning to stick in my skin 

Worries.

The fear of inadequacy 

Of failure to some future self.

The urgency of weighted decisions 

When I don't even know what color socks to put on my feet 

Much less decide which direction to run  

 

Soon, these pricks with gradual velocity combine, 

mounting on top of each other into bricks 

 

Then

 

... Thoughts abruptly cave-in at 3:10

While I frantically jot down math notes.

stubbernly the pencil refuses

And I'm utterly useless 

trying to release the pain. 

My thoughts are clogged 

D

   O 

      W

         N

A drain

 

This utensil scratches new thoughts in my mind.

 

Bells taunt the time.

I look to the paper, and 

the pencil is still motionless resting atop unfinished, scribbled formulas. 

 

Time brings guilt 

with the fact that at this moment 

I am still an unknown entity walking through empty halls 

Without direction 

Without a creased map guiding my steps.

Time is slipping through my fingers 

And I can only watch it drip.

 

In these depths 

I've found pixelated facts

Printed in ink by my own subconscious brain 

And motives that are covered in fogged light over the smudged glass in my mind.

What used to be clear is clouded with fingerprints of past memories and

Self-conscience concepts.

I'm only hiding from self-devised fears. 

 

I have no focus. 

I'm adrift. 

 

I walk aimlessly, 

Alone in this wide stretch of cracked earth.

 

But am I only looking blindly ahead?

 

Beacuse on earth there are 7.5 billion people

and to the left and right of my path 

They surge in clusters.

Old, young

Humble, proud 

Rich, poor

 

Do you really think all of them know exactly where they are headed? 

That they all know the right turns to make?

 

And I realized 

There are more people to walk with me

Than worries to fabricate in my head.

People reaching- willing to lend a hand

Even if their own is bruised and broken.  

 

And we are not alone. 

We all live on this one solitary planet out of 

Billions and billions coagulated around the infinite universe.

We are stuck together 

bonded like glue to this worn earth.

 

We live

With the world itself

Trying to tear us apart.

It wears us down- 

Bending bruised bodies and

Wrapping hearts around fake things, 

Screens ignite fury around us

Yelling threats 

screaming what's worse- what's different 

Comparing each other

When that shouldn't matter 

becuase we're all made out of dust 

 

And we all have potential 

to be beautiful 

to do something grand 

All we need to do is take that helping hand 

 

And we begin to climb 

 

We need to climb up

So we will climb on, 

taking bright moments to fill our hearts

It's our energy-

intensity, 

moving us toward the goal, 

an endless reach.

 

Memories of kind faces, 

Stories told through years repeated

to fill our tanks with hope, 

So the wheels keeps turning no matter which rocks lie ahead.

 

And even though

For 525,000 minutes

A year

I've been stuck, clamped to the broken ground

I've learned more than I care to admit.

Because life isn't about where you're going 

But why you are climbing

About taking one mental step at a time. 

And as long as we

Lift 

Our 

Feet.

 

We've won.