When I got home from camp today,
My parents almost died.
They asked me how I got this way,
And here's what I replied:
"This little cast from heel to hip
Is nothing much at all.
Some broken shingles made me slip
From off the dining hall.
The poison ivy's not too bad.
It missed my back and chest.
Of course, I guess I oughta add
Mosquitoes got the rest.
I tried to eat some hick'ry nuts
And cracked a tooth or two.
And all these bruises, scabs, and cuts?
I haven't got a clue.
I got the lump that's on my head
From diving in the lake.
I should have watched for rocks instead
Of grabbing for the snake.
That leaves the bandage on my chin
And these three finger sprains.
Along with lots of sunburned skin
And sniffles from the rains.
Oh yes, I got a muscle cramp
And very nearly drowned.
It's some terrific summer camp,
The coolest one around."