When I got home from camp today,

My parents almost died.

They asked me how I got this way,

And here's what I replied:

"This little cast from heel to hip

Is nothing much at all.

Some broken shingles made me slip

From off the dining hall.

The poison ivy's not too bad.

It missed my back and chest.

Of course, I guess I oughta add

Mosquitoes got the rest.

I tried to eat some hick'ry nuts

And cracked a tooth or two.

And all these bruises, scabs, and cuts?

I haven't got a clue.

I got the lump that's on my head

From diving in the lake.

I should have watched for rocks instead

Of grabbing for the snake.

That leaves the bandage on my chin

And these three finger sprains.

Along with lots of sunburned skin

And sniffles from the rains.

Oh yes, I got a muscle cramp

And very nearly drowned.

It's some terrific summer camp,

The coolest one around."