At fifteen years old I thought I had a plan; I was born to make a mark, yeah, I was born to take a stand.I never saw it coming, oh I was lost within my mind; I thought I’d simply disappear and leave it all behind.Mistaken; Misread; and never understood. I focused on the bad, yeah, I said ‘ta fuck” with all the good.My memory- plaguing me, never took the time to rest; anxiety was weighing me, my heart cracked within my chest.Always the outsider, it was so hard to look within; no one recognized the pain that was boiling through my skin.A masquerade; a smoke screen; yeah I was always in disguise. No one had the strength it took to look me deeply in the eyes.Tears tinted Crimson, slowly, flowing freely down my trunk; pain was the first poison to ever get me drunk.Staggering; blabbering; hooked on the thing that had me clamoring. Endless days turned sleepless nights, a simple taste had left me stammering.Confusion was the blanket I had draped to make me blind; with it's tattered patchwork sewn together, my life was abruptly realigned.Hopelessly frantic, I take a pencil in my fist; but as I start to come around, I see a razor to my wrist.Tidal waves, crashing, surround me like a cast; weighted with oblivion, I am stuck beneath my past.Bagpipes blast the song to which I start to lose control; and life plays out before me, as I look within my soul.Honesty keeps me real, yeah, I am loyal to a fault; but nothing could prepare me for what I had sealed up in this vault.I felt lost within forever, that I deserved to feel this pain; and no one could convince me that the sun rose from the rain.Like an artist to a canvas, I drew my paintings out of blood; with my story drawn upon me, I was drained of all my love.No one owns the words that will ever make you change your mind; survival runs much deeper, and within you is entwined.Only you can know your value, only you can know your worth; nothing can capture the pain you'd leave behind, if you felt you had to leave this earth.Your anger; your rage; the agony that has consumed your heart, camouflages the strength within you to find a fresh new start.Laying there; paralyzed, you let the whole world get you down; don’t let another persons wake, sink your ship and make you drown.Stand tall and speak loudly, share your story and do it proudly; nothing you've done will ever be seen as cowardly.More people can relate than you ever would even imagine; reach within your darkest days and start projecting it outward, with passion.Smile; be free, yeah, hold steadfast to life; with words as your powerhouse, your tongue will cut like a knife.Hug yourself, love yourself, and don't ever bend; the fact that you're living is an act to commend.So, when nighttime comes and there's darkness again, look at the end of your arm, and you'll find your best friend.
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