Everyday feeling alone like the walls are closing in on me.
Claim to love me so much but yet he hates me.
Suffocated, trapped while dying on the inside
Having daily regrets for choosing me as his wife.
Everything that goes wrong is always my fault
From not having a relationship with his kids to loosing in court
Who truly has regrets me or him,
A smile so bright from his past when he reminisce.
Hate in his eyes when I'm around or his presence
Marrying me has been more of a punishment than a  blessing.
Suffocated, heart broken, dazed and confused
13 years of hurt pain mental,physical and verbal abuse.
I feel weak ill willed because I lost control
Treat me like a child" do as you're told.
Everybody I care about I lose
Trying to show love as a normal person, wife or mother would
Laugh to cover up the pain because it hurt so much
Has my life been a blessng or a Curse
Why am I here I often ask
Suffocated behind four walls fake smile hidden under a mask.
Even as a child I was tortured and mistreated
Locked in the closet for hours with no food to eat
Tears of pain and anger as they roll down my face
Everyday I live I can't breathe from suffocating.
Can't eat,can't think, cant sleep, can't breathe,
Allowing everyday drama and abuse to get the best of me.
Marriage is supposed to be for better or worse
So Can anybody tell me why the pain from all the hurt.
Wrath,anger, malice comes from daily uncontrolled drinking
Instead of loving me he rather mistreat, abuse &accuse me
No relationship outside these walls makes me feel like a prisoner
Questioning why am i here why am I living
Marriage is supposed to bring joy happiness yet it feel like a life sentence.
Sometimes I feel like running away so it can all be over
No longer suffocating, dying inside,trapped  or under his control.