Struggled Life 

I was Lost most of my life wondering what is right 
In my broken life 
Dreams that had been lost a long time ago 
Looking for answers that never came my way 
Looking for the true light 
In Gods eyes 
I had been pushed beaten down call so many bad names 
That would make the rain come down in shame 
A darken road is what I hold 
My mother ,father lost their way in what Love really means 
They even left me helpless very young 
I didn't have no hope of everlasting or evening 
Finding something to call home or anyone 
To show me the right way to go 
People would look at me in a sad shameless way 
up and down say bad things to make want to give up 
In life that made me even cry 
I sometimes wishing I would had died 
where I never had to walk this kinda life 
I kept holding on to the unknown of hopes and dreams 
That never came to me 
One day I hope God would find me and look my way 
Love me and set me free from all my agony 
And call me his own 
Forgive me for the way I had to live 
I had always been too scared to even pray along 
That darken highway 
I always thought in my heart that God was too far 
away to even care about my life anyways 
A God of judging everything I do 
A God that I thought was only looking at the bad in me 
thinking he was just out to get me too 
then one cold storm of the past came rushing in my heart 
That made me numb all over again 
I cried and I cried wishing God would love me 
Clean me up from this life I live in sin 
Take my broken heart and make it mind 
Then I look to the heavens on hands and knees 
I gave it a try to let God in my darken life 
I started praying giving God all my pains 
All my shames 
This had gone on for hours and hours 
and the days on in I cried out my sins 
I started telling him what I was feeling 
And it was something like this 
Its You oh God that I must of missed 
Oh God I know I am a sinner I was born 
That way you see every one looks down on me 
and call me a black seed 
I am a Homeless child that is who I truly am 
I had been tossed about like the raven winds 
Lost with so much sins 
Oh God I don't know why I am crying out to you 
But what else can I do 
I know you must have better things to do 
So I will let you go but please God open 
Your heart and you will find mine in 
Your hands amen 
The night had past and all my pains had 
Gone away and my life had never been 
The same true love came my way 
Walking With Jehovah God 
And he even calls me friend. 

Lilly Emery